02) Butch Hancock – Split And Slide (I) (1986er Version)
Split and Slide were gliding along
they were hot footin‘ to singing a song
at the top of their lungs at the top of their voice
they needed some help cause they had no choice
but to lie a little to everybody they met
Split was swearing, Slide would curse
things got better, things got worse
they rambled around from town to town
they gambled and they laid their money down
and they lost just a little to everybody they bet
Split didn’t mind and Slide didn’t care
they knew everybody has a burden to bear
and theirs was simple: they were born to lose
but ol‘ Split started getting some bright ideas
and believe it or not, ol‘ Slide got his
and the next thing you knew, they decided to pick and choose
So Split, he picked the proper time
and Slide picked a good high mountain to climb
they got halfway up, then they came back down
Split, he slipped and started to slide,
and Slide, he slipped and split his side,
and said „Split, let’s keep our feet on level ground“.
(Chorus:)
You can’t always tow the line
You can’t always tell the time
and circumstances gonna change right to wrong
you can’t always win a fight,
baby you can’t always see the light
and a rose cannot bloom the whole year long
Split had a daughter named lame Ilene
and Slide had a son he’d never seen
and that worthless lil‘ mutha‘ was known by the name of Slick
Well, Ilene and Slick they had a chance to meet
in the middle of the river in the summer heat
they just bumped heads going for an innocent swim
And ol‘ Slick said „Marry me“ just for fun
his brain had been boiling in the blazing sun
but Ilene took it seriously and she accepted him
Split had to give the bride away,
and he did so, but then he backed away
in that old hot church he went and stood by the fan
Then Slick and Slide came down the aisle
they out of order, walking single file
but somehow it all seemed to fit in the preacher’s plan
the preacher said „Lord help us now and bless this holy wedding vow“
Slick said to himself „The Lord either will or he won’t“
The preacher said „Slick, you take her for your bride“
Slick looked at her and then he looked at Slide
he was supposed to say „I do“ but he said „I don’t“
Well, about that time, Split hit the fan,
lost a thumb and a finger off of his right hand
went screaming out of that church throwing a fit
Then Slick and Slide they saw their chance
to get out of that ill-fated fool’s romance
they all went runnin‘ down the road lickety-split
(Chorus)
Split and Slide were tired and sore
and sick and tired of being so poor
if money was rain they had been a 7 year drought
Split said „Slide let’s par for the course,
you talk like a dog, I talk like a horse,
and this here is a-comin‘ straight from the horse’s mouth:
One place is as good as the next, I swear
two places are better than anywhere
so I meet you there and you meet me here and we’ll rob the Bank of America“
Slide said „Split that’s a very good plan“
he stood right up and he shook his hand, said
„All we’re gonna need is a little bit of help from Erica“
That was his girl and she was from way down South
with a look in her eye and a drawl in her mouth
and they all agreed, she’d be the inside man
You know, Erica got to thinkin‘ it through
and decided that the best thing for her to do
was to keep her job and turn those two fools in
Erica sort of sold them down the river
and Split had about a half a mind to forgive her
but Slide had the presence of mind to say „Let’s split, Split“
So split they did and they went and hid
down a dirty alley underneath a garbage lid
and they laid low till the trashmen came
Well I guess they ran out of luck
they got loaded up on that garbage truck
and went rockin‘ and rollin‘ to the other side of town
they drove ‚em down to the old dump yard
and dumped them out, Lord they landed hard
Split by Slide, right side upside down
(Chorus)
Split was down without much hope
and ol‘ Slide was out to the end of his rope
they’d both just about give up trying to win
the two of them started seeing double
they didn’t have the energy to deal with trouble
so their rambling days came quickly to an end
They started into singing again
in a smoky old bar at the very back end
and a few small tips and a drink was all their pay
But even that got a little too slow
and left them with nowhere else to go
but a back screen door of an old café
I swear Slide sings harmony all alone
and Split keeps playing Slide’s trombone
the customers all come in for a bite to eat
they complain about the service and the price of toast
but the words from them you’re gonna hear the most
is that Split and Slide, man, they never miss a beat.
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